Charlotte. M. S. Schulze's Memories of World War 2
- priscila10wahba7
- Aug 19, 2022
- 12 min read
Konrad Schulze 1930
Journal Serial Number: 23759/7619997
Date: 29.08.1930
Time: 11am
Location: Hamburg, Germany
Name: Konrad Schulze
I am leaving Hamburg, Germany to go to Porto de St,Fransisco in Brazil. I have gone through the first world war and I do not wish to go through another one. I am 24 years old and still have my life ahead of me and I intend to live it without war. I am leaving on the 29th of August 1930 on a ship to Brazil from the Hamburg Harbour and I expect to get into Porto de St.Fransisco on 05.12.1930, it is roughly going to take me a month to get there.
I learned how to be a butcher in Germany so that would be a fairly easy profession to get into when I am in Brazil.
Journal Serial Number: 23759/7619997
Date: 05.12.1930
Time: 2pm
Location: Porto de St.Fransisco
Name: Konrad Schulze
I got here on the date that I predicted fortunately there were no complications with the ship and it got here smoothly. As I entered the country and showed my passport to the government the automatically held me as a prisoner because I was German. Later on in the evening they gave me a choice, 1: Face imprisonment for being a German citizen or 2: Denounce your German citizenship and become a Brazilian citizen. So I became a Brazilian citizen to escape the war and to keep living my life, there was nothing left for me in Germany anyways.
Journal Serial Number: 23759/7619997
Date: 07.01.1931
Time: 9:30 am
Location: Porto de St.Fransisco
Name: Konrad Schulze
I have opened up my own Butcher business and it is going very well for me, I have started to learn Portuguese so that I can live my basic life but also to gain customers. They love the meat that I sell and I see new faces everyday.
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1939
Sunday, 21st June 1939
Dear Diary
My father (Rasmus Svenningsens) received a letter today saying that he must enlist as a soldier in the German Army. He said that this would be the second war he has been through but the first time being a soldier and serving our country. The uniforms that he had to purchase was of the deepest Grey-Green colour that I have ever seen. The Tunic was of the most sturdiest Wool gabardine I have ever felt and the trousers and overcoat were of a strong whipcord which matched the side cap perfectly with its doeskin fabric. The steel helmet and the marching boots were of the deepest and darkest black you could possibly imagine, I “immediately saw that this was a new type of man, a special one” (Elliott, 1979:106 cited in Bartlett, 2019:205) and that “the clothing of today must be seen in action”. Of course it was only natural for father to get a uniform since like “Alicia patterson, advised:”… you can’t fly around the country in your best clothes. You have to wear a flying suit, helmet and goggles” (Patterson, 1930:60 cited in Bartlett, 2019:211) Uniforms are important since they “ …show who we are and how we perform our identities” (Craik, 2005: 4 cited in Tynan, 2019:221). They can only show their durability once it “is tested only through the process of working in it” (Stepanova, 1923: 65 cited in Bartlett, 2019:203).
Yours, Charlotte
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1939
Monday, 22nd May 1939
Dear Diary
Since we got the news that the war is starting and after father got his letter letting him now that he needs to enlist as a soldier we had to leave our home in Poland and go back to Germany. The Schneider Family who owned the Gutshause in Dreileben offered to give us a place. It was only me and mother who were going to make the journey there since Sonni was sent off to do her mandatory schooling and father went with the other soldiers to battle. We had to walk all the way from Koszeçin in Upper Silesia all the way to Dreileben in Germany. It took us a couple days to get from one place to another and we did not have any transport. Since our whole journey was on foot we were only able to take with us what we were able to carry, everything else we had to leave behind in Poland. On our journey we had to take a few rest stops overnight to sleep, we met a few people along the way who were going the same way. One night we were staying at a farm and the sirens went off letting us know that aircrafts were bombing the places and that we had to take shelter, there was a bomb shelter across the field so everyone made their way there. I thought my mother was still in the Farm so I went to see where she was and I realised no-one was there so I started making my way to the bomb shelter, the lights of the aircrafts were shining on the field where I was walking, if they saw me they would of bombed the whole field but I managed to get to the bomb shelter without any harm, my mother was relieved to see me there since she thought I had already made my way to the shelter beforehand.
Yours, Charlotte
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1941
Wednesday , 2nd October 1941
Dear Diary
It has been a couple years since I have last wrote, Oh do please forgive me!, everything has happened so quickly as time went by during this terrible time. It is the year 1941 now and I have been doing what I can to help out and do my bit in the war, so much so that my shoes are completely worn out besides I have had them since I was in Poland so they are far too small for me now. My mother (Käthe Svenningsens) took me to a shop that is about 1 hour by foot away from where we are staying - She says that I can pick a pair of shoes that are my size in exchange for these old ones, its almost as if I’m getting new ones even though I know they are old too and have been worn, but they have character and a history that come along with them since they were owned by someone else.
Yours, Charlotte
Comment Added by Charlotte on 21st April 1956:
“Not all short of but always with and through perception and words, the sublime is something added that expands us, overstrains is, and causes us to be both here, as dejects and there, as others and sparkling. A divergence, an impossible bonding. Everything missed, joy - fascination.” (Kristeva, 1982,12 ).
When I think about how my shoes were old and worn out and I got to exchange them for a pair that fit me, just the mere memory of it made my current shoes feel so small that I had to take them off my feet, it was as though the memory was becoming a reality.
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1942
Thursday, 28th March 1942
Dear Diary
It has been a couple months since I got asked to do my part in the war “For the duration” (Hall, 2015:235) for being a “women at war” (Hall, 2015:235) and “do their duty” (Hall, 2015:235) so I have been writing letters of a friendship nature to a German soldier called: Mario Schumacher. He doesn’t have any family or loved ones that can write him letters so it is up to us to make the soldiers who are fight to keep us safe at least something nice to look forward too. All the women at the Gutshause in Dreileben are writing letters (to different soldiers of course), one of the women from the Family Schneider said “this is the simple, effortless sort of …work we all love doing… just the thing for the busy woman who likes to have a piece of work on hand which she can pick up at will.” (Hackney, 2006:25) And I think she is right, I do love writing and if it helps to win the war then I will write until we do win it.
Yours, Charlotte
Comment Added by Charlotte on 20th July 1944:
The most extraordinary event occurred today, the German soldier whom I have been writing letters to in the years of 1942 and 1943 has showed up at the Family Schneiders door step today. I simply couldn’t believe my eyes, I was so shocked that I almost didn’t even let him into the house but my mother who was standing behind me asked me who it was and when she realised she told me to ask him inside. I made pleasantries and helped my mother make him some food to eat since he must of been starving after such a long journey.
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1943
Thursday, 5th May 1943
Dear Diary
It is my Birthday and I’m turning 12 today, I do not wish for much just for the war to end. It would of made such a big difference if my sister (Sonni Svenningsens) was not in her Schulpflicht but could come home and be with me and mother (Käthe Svenningsens) and of course I know it is impossible for father to come home since I know he is was captured in Siberia, Russia and was being executed just for being a German soldier, I read his letter everyday and always think of him and know that he wants me to be happy.
Two soldiers of Russian uniform: Nicholas Budnikovski and Serge Bromioskin who visit the Gutshause for food and shelter regularly came today with a pot of Geranium flowers and gifted it to me for my 12th birthday, they had the softest petals and they were a pretty red colour with such vibrant dark green stems and leaves, I didn’t even know that they knew my birthday or that they would even remember. To celebrate I baked us all a cake (with the limited rationed food that we had to work with) I still managed to bake something big enough so we could all take a piece even though the pieces were the width for my 2 fingers and the length of my hand but we still enjoyed it.
Yours, Charlotte
Comment Added by Charlotte on 29th July 1962:
When I smell or even just see Geranium Flowers “As soon as I perceive it, as soon as I name it, the sublime triggers - it has always triggered - a sure of perceptions and words that expands memory boundlessly. I then forget the point of departure and find myself removed to a secondary universe, set off from the one where “I” am - delight and loss.” (Kristeva, 1982 :12). It fills me with priceless memory, memories which can not be taken away from me because they are engraved in my my subconsciousness and there they will remain.
Rasmus Svenningsens 1943
Gutshaus,
Dreileben,
DEUTSCHLAND
10th February 1943 Siberia, RUSSIA
To my dearest Käthe Svenningsens ,
I am writing to you in the mids of the war to let you know I have been captured in Sibera, Russia. I have been here for almost a year and it doesn’t look good for me, I hear rumours going round that we will all be executed in a few weeks.
I take comfort in knowing that the girls are safe, Sonni in her mandatory schooling and that our youngest Charlotte is with you in Dreileben.
“With regard to the Verwerfung, there is not a rigorous use of the term in the sense of a defense mechanism, rather it defines a particular way of return: “That which is canceled inside returns from the outside” (Freud, 1911: 66 cited in Zanchettin, 2018:1).
I implore you to let our darlings know in the softest of terms and know that I did what I could right up to the end and that I’m always thinking of t h e m.
The soldiers of Sibera allowed us all to send a letter each but we had to make it short.
Never forget me.
Sincerely yours,
Rasmus Svenningsens.
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1945
Sunday, 30th June 1945
Dear Diary
Its been more than a month since the war ended and we are still giving food and shelter to soldiers who need it. My sister came back from her mandatory schooling about a month before the war ended and we were both outside the Gutshause sweeping and cleaning. We heard someone walking up behind us with heavy footsteps and Sonni turned around to see who it was. It was a soldier, at first we thought he was seeking food or shelter but his face had an unexplainable expression on it and before we could even think of opening our mouths to ask if there was something he was looking for, he raised his arm with a gun in hand to my sisters head and told her to sing. My sister was never really fond of singing aloud so she told the soldier that she could not and he did not seem to accept that answer so he pressed the gun to her temple and repeated himself louder and we both closed our eyes tight. At that moment I decided to sing in German whilst still having my eyes closed waiting to hear a gun shot but all we heard was footsteps gradually getting quieter. I opened my eyes and I saw the soldier just walking away and neither my sister nor myself were harmed. We hugged one another and quickly went inside to find our mother and to take comfort in her.
Yours, Charlotte
Comment Added by Charlotte on 23rd January 1973:
“…the actual presence of the object: the contrast is between a representationalist version of externalism, which says that what mental states represent is essentially linked to their causes… which sees perceptual states as involving their objects as constituents.” (Allais 2010: 60 cited in Stephenson 2015:5).
As Allais formulates, I used my reasoning of the object that was before me (the gun) and did what the soldier asked in order for us not to be harmed. I did not think about it I just acted out of a reflex of our safety.
Soldiers of war are not usually bad people but some have an urge to kill and to perform violent acts even if the person receiving it is innocent, they are just looking for an outlet.
“…Even if it's frowned upon to talk about the lust to kill, it is a common phenomenon among soldiers and a biological predisposition of men, and not a consequence of psychopathological processes. Reports … on Nazi leaders have revealed that most people may be turned to become cruel given corresponding circumstances. Given that aggression may be perceived as appetitive among perpetrators, appropriate therapeutic interventions for the reintegration of former combatants into society, in addition to the issue of traumatisation, must in particular address a potential appeal to performing violent acts.” ( Weierstall et al., 2012:5).
This goes to show that its the circumstances that bring out the urge to harm in a person rather than something they carry around with them.
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1946
Friday, 28th May 1946
Dear Diary
It is the year 1946 and the war ended in 1945, until now soldiers of different uniforms come to the Gutshause to have somewhere to sleep and to be able to have some food. I presume that is because they are very far from their homes or that they have no home left to go back to since a lot of places got badly bombed during the war.
It was late in the afternoon and I had just finished washing up the bowls of the soldiers and most of them have gone to sleep but there was one soldier who came through the front door and he stood out to me and I had a feeling that I should know him but I wasn’t sure but his voice was so familiar when he spoke.
“Bring me something to eat child!…, What?! Don’t you recognise your own father?” I almost dropped the bowl I had just cleaned because I could hardly believe it. It was my father, whom I thought was executed in Siberia, Russia for being a German Soldier but here he was standing in front of me. I tried to gather some food to give to him but all I could find was edible scraps of potatoes, some soup and a few pieces of sausages to give to him since most of the food already went to the soldiers for the day.
I was filled with mixed emotions of happy and confused but excited all at the same time and there were thousands of questions running through my head like “How did you escape Siberia?”, “How long have you been in Germany?”, “How was it being a prisoner?”, “How was Siberia, Russia?”, “Why didn’t you write or try to contact us?”. I thought it was better not to ask or at least to ask at a later date since the moment was already so overwhelming.
Yours, charlotte
Charlotte. M. S. Schulze 1967
Thursday, 10th August 1967
Dear Diary
I have met Konrad Schulze 3 years ago and we decided to get married in 1967 a couple months ago. We met in Brazil where I was born in St.Paulo. He is the same age as my father and they were born roughly the same year 1906, both in Germany just in different cities. Konrad is a very clever and handy man, we did not have much but we had enough to get by which was enough for us to live a basic life.
“For centuries, women had been creating do-it-yourself projects, from home dressmaking to interior decoration, but during the post-war years, do-it-yourself became increasingly….categorised as task for men. While do-it-yourself projects provided a curative and creative outlet from the workday … they allowed men to demonstrate competence and strength..” (Lichtman, 2006: 39-40)
Konrad had a few suits that he wore during the war but have gotten far too small for him now so he wanted to surprise me and he make me a little money purse and a matching bag out of his suit. He knew how to sew from his mother but we did not have a sewing machine so he sewed the them by hand which made them even more special.
“Many found that their pre-war clothes no longer fitted them after years of military service. Others discovered their wardrobes had been plundered in their absence by their wives looking for materials to refashion.” (Smith, 2016: 2)
Like Smith said many clothes from the war did not fit anymore so he used his best suit which was still in good condition and made me two products out of it.
Yours, Charlotte
Comment Added by Charlotte on 15th October 1990:
“The “sublime” object dissolves in the rapture of a bottomless memory. It is such a memory, which, from stopping point to stopping point, remembrance, love to love, transfers that object the refulgent point of the dazzlement in which I stray in order to be.” (Kristeva, 1982: 12 )
I have the money purse until now which I use weekly for my donations for the church. Each time I place money into it, it gives it more purpose and it brings it back to life. The matching bag that he made me I use for my most valued possessions such as documents and the memories that go along with each piece of paper, passport, Identification card etc it brings me back to that moment in time and it fills me full with emotions of the past and all is inside of the bag and the bag itself brings memories of Konrad and the love he put into sewing it.
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